So I finally decided to stop being lazy and start a blog about my adventures in China. While trying to think of a name for the blog, I came up with Banana in China originally, but found it was already taken by some woman blogging about food so since I’m living in Beijing, I figured Banana in Beijing is the next best thing and will have to make do.

Anyway I just randomly Googled Banana in China, and I couldn’t help but laugh at the search results.

Like seriously? I see so many things wrong with this. First of all, why are only bananas banned? Why not also popsicles, or sausages, or anything phallic shaped? Or as a matter of fact, why allow anyone to put anything in their mouth on a live stream or live broadcast? I’m sure Scarlett Johansson could seductively eat a piece of broccoli and I would probably be turned on.

Second, the key word here is “eating.” Do they not realize that eating entails biting. All the guys reading this just collectively shuddered as they imagined their dick getting bitten off. I could understand if they said licking or sucking was banned, but eating? Come on…

And third, why is the government so anti-fun? I mean, porn is already blocked in China (as well as all the good non-porn sites like Youtube, Facebook, and Google even). Can’t they just let the citizens have a little bit of fun and use their imagination a little? A little imagination never hurt anyone… well, unless you’re Japanese. Sometimes your imagination can get a little too weird. Haha I’m just kidding Japanese people, I loved Japan when I visited. But seriously, some of your stuff is really weird.

Anyway, the government really needs to loosen up. I mean, they aren’t really controlling the Internet in China. For those of us that really want to access websites outside of China, we just use VPNs (as I’m doing right now to blog). And once information gets posted online, it’s not like you can remove it. Sometimes it can be pretty frustrating to always have to use a VPN, since it’s generally slower and sometimes doesn’t even work. Maybe one day, the Chinese government will realize the futility of trying to control the media and the Internet and loosen up. I doubt it will happen anytime soon, but I can hope.

Just Search Banana in China on Google